“I wish I could sink into the earth and vanish.”

As a historian of Japan I can’t help but associate news items with events from modern Japanese history. The latest in these associations came this morning as I was reading a CNN article reporting on captured Russian soldiers expressing remorse for their actions against Ukrainian civilians, ordered by their nation’s leadership on false pretenses. The article ends with the above quotation expressing remorse for war crimes they had been forced to commit, and a desire to just escape from the untenable situation of soldiers duty-bound to follow orders in misguided aggression, “I wish I could sink into the earth and vanish.”

The sentiment reminded me immediately of a post-WWII novel and film of the title, Watashi wa kai ni naritai (私は貝になりたい), or I want to become a shellfish, and presumably hide in the sands beneath the waves in the tempest. A peace-loving Japanese soldier is forced by is superiors to kill a captured American serviceman. This act goes against his nature, but he was left no choice. Then after the war he returns to his village only to be haunted by his war actions and eventually arrested on charges of war crimes.

If the conflict goes nuclear perhaps we will all get the soldier’s wish.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/03/15/europe/ukraine-russian-prisoners-of-war-intl/index.html